Diabetes drove me nuts

by Maritza
(FL)

I was diagnosed with Diabetes after I turned 11 after a month ago in 2009. At first I was confused when the nurse said I had Diabetes. My parents were in shock but I was still confused. I've heard about Diabetes once on TV but I still couldn't think what it was. I was stuck in the hospital for a week! Believe it or not, I asked the doctor if I can stay a day more. I love the hospital I go because its really fun I loved it when I was 11 and even now.

During 6th grade I tried getting used to it and just try to forget it. But while I was 12 I was hit with major depression. I thought I was the only one with Diabetes since I never met anybody who has Cancer, who was Deaf or Blind. I was under months of depression during 7th grade. Heck I wouldn't keep my eyes off of my computer screen since it was my only escape to be myself and do whatever. Yes, I act different in real life. I'm normally known as the quiet girl who likes to read. To some people I'm known as a girl with anger, and to my best friend Stephanie, I was known to her as the unique crazy girl I was born as.

One night my mom told me to take a shower. I hate taking showers unless I felt like it. I play this game called Wizard101 and right when I was going to leave my character to a safe spot I got pulled into a battle with these anglers. My mom got mad, slapped me, and disconnected my laptop from the internet. During those minutes everything I forced myself to put away came back. I started crying in the shower as thoughts of killing myself and cutting myself came up.

After I finished taking a shower I managed to tell my mom if she wants a peaceful life it would just be easier to stab a knife through me. And it would probably be more easier for her if I did it myself. She kept slapping me and telling me to shut up. After that while my mom was making dinner I got the needle to check my blood sugar and cut 3 little lines on my arm. I was smart enough to cut myself far away from my wrists, I cut near my elbow.

When I saw what I did made an overflow of blood I got an alcohol swab and started dabbing it on the cuts. Luckily I put the cap back on and when my mom saw me trying to stop the bleeding she was close to slapping me. But I blame it on my boy cat Chuchi who was just lying down on his cat post.

I poured out everything to my mom and asked if I wanted to see the psycologist again. I told her that I didn't want her to waste her money and that I talked to the school counselor. She said that she doesn't care how much money she has to waste and that all she cared about me being happy. Months after those dark thoughts still come in once in a while. But I push them away. Now I know myself as the 13 year old 8th grade who is still trying to forget Diabetes and still live through it while I prepare for highschool.

I know this is a very short story but I'm planning to write a book about everything that happened in a better clear thought. This is all I can write for now since I wrote this during school.